The Carbon Footprint of my New Shoes

Two weeks ago, after sending back a pair of shoes to 6pm because they were fugly upon arrival, I ordered up these Geox booties from Yoox.  Yum.

Yesterday, I went onto yoox.com to see where the aitch ee double hockey sticks they were because a girl needs her new shoes.  And this is what I found:

Next Scheduled Event:  Monday,10/06/2014 by 10:00 A.M.

Location	Date	Local Time	Activity
East Boston, MA, United States	10/04/2014	7:10 A.M.	Departure Scan
	10/04/2014	6:19 A.M.	Arrival Scan
Louisville, KY, United States	10/04/2014	4:19 A.M.	Departure Scan
	10/04/2014	12:39 A.M.	Import Scan
Louisville, KY, United States	10/03/2014	5:02 A.M.	Warehouse Scan
	10/03/2014	12:57 A.M.	Your package will be held at a warehouse until it is released by the clearance agency. / Your package was released by the clearing agency.
	10/03/2014	12:57 A.M.	Your package was released by the clearing agency.
Louisville, KY, United States	10/03/2014	12:50 A.M.	Import Scan
Louisville, KY, United States	10/02/2014	11:41 A.M.	Import Scan
	10/02/2014	1:43 A.M.	Your package will be held at a warehouse until it is released by the clearance agency.
	10/02/2014	12:09 A.M.	Arrival Scan
Koeln, Germany	10/01/2014	8:54 P.M.	Departure Scan
Koeln, Germany	09/30/2014	3:52 P.M.	Arrival Scan
Nurnberg, Germany	09/30/2014	9:41 A.M.	Departure Scan
	09/30/2014	9:30 A.M.	Arrival Scan
Milano, Italy	09/29/2014	9:00 P.M.	Departure Scan
	09/29/2014	1:52 P.M.	Export Scan
	09/29/2014	1:50 P.M.	Warehouse Scan
	09/29/2014	9:54 A.M.	Your package is at the clearing agency awaiting final release. / Your package was released by the clearing agency.
	09/29/2014	6:55 A.M.	Your package is at the clearing agency awaiting final release.
Milano, Italy	09/27/2014	7:00 A.M.	Arrival Scan
Bologna, Italy	09/27/2014	4:00 A.M.	Departure Scan
Bologna, Italy	09/26/2014	8:04 P.M.	Arrival Scan
Bentivoglio, Italy	09/26/2014	7:50 P.M.	Departure Scan
	09/26/2014	6:49 P.M.	Location Scan
Italy	09/26/2014	1:01 P.M.	Order Processed: Ready for UPS

The enviable passport of my new kicks.  What do I need to do to offset the carbon footprint of these babies?

A Cautionary Tale: Cooking while Drinking may Lead to Unintended Pasta

We got home from Waltham Fields with our share yesterday (which, of course, required the Boyz, an additional five-year old borrowed from the neighbor, and me to halt the railroad track construction TWICE as we carried our wagon over the tracks and on down Beaver Street) and made this for lunch:

It was delish.  

Inspired, I made Mommy Chicken for my kids for dinner (chicken breast pounded flat and then dipped in egg, flour, and panko bread crumbs and fried in a little canola oil) and then took out the cod from Red's Best that I got with my weekly order from Farmers to You and prepared to cook it for Darling Husband and me for our dinner.

I found this recipe on Epicurious and poured myself a glass of Albarino and started cooking.  DH hates mushy fish and I hate fried food, so it's hard to find a fish dish that works for both of us.  I usually resort to fish tacos.  This, though, promised awesomeness, along with bonus actual SAUSAGE for DH (I think that he would eat plywood if I told him that there was chorizo on it.  Which is actually an idea to get him to eat tofu. Hmmm.)  So, since the fish was cooked on the stove until there's a nice crustiness to the bottom and then finished in the oven and topped with toasted breadcrumbs (I used more of the panko, toasted in a wok, because all of the other pans were in the sink.  Don't judge me) and the CHORIZO, it was crunchy, fresh cod delight all around.  Served with some steamed green beans.  And more wine.

Which inspired me even more, so I took the escarole from the fridge and went onto the next recipe: escarole soup.  I poured another glass.  The albarino was really good and I would recommend it to other Sauvignon Blanc, Sancerre fans out there. I cannot, however, recommend finishing the bottle while cooking.  I should also point out that my approach to cooking is to read the recipe, assume that I have memorized it, and proceed.  As most people know, alcohol impairs both memory and judgment, and so I sometimes get some interesting outcomes.  The escarole soup recipe was simple and straightforward.  Not an iota of heavy lifting, so I lifted another glass and then poured the entire package of tiny pasta into the pot.

So, what I have is teensy tiny macaroni and cheese with some escarole visible in what would have been a lovely broth.

Cheers.

Ground Control

Today, the street next to my house is closed.  It's a busy street that connects the east end of my town and all of the towns east of me to the center of Our Small City.  There are houses, an office park, a gas station, a Girl Scout Camp, a Community Farm, Bentley University, a Private School, a baseball field (which is hosting a big fair today), and two historic estates (Lyman and Stonehurst, the Paine Estate) along the two mile length of the road.  And it is closed, which is annoying and inconvenient and a pain in the arse.  

But that's not what this is about.  No, what this is about is the police details that accompany every single construction project everywhere ever.

I am a supporter of community police and I think that, in general, police have a pretty crappy job and that they should be able to supplement their income with overtime.  Also, having police presence along a gridlocked road probably goes a long way to stop people from actively killing each other while trying to cut in front of cars in a lane closure.  The police are very helpful at directing traffic.  When they do that.

What bugs me is how many of the police officers stationed at construction sites do NOT direct traffic or assist motorists in any way.  Instead, they WATCH the construction.  As if they are supervising the work.  Their backs are typically turned away from the traffic which they are supposed to be directing and they are watching the diggers and the jackhammers and the guys who are in the holes in the ground.  Meanwhile, there are jackaninnies trying to avoid the delay by DRIVING ON SIDEWALKS or making U-turns in the middle of intersections with pedestrian crosswalks or driving up in the Left Turn Only lane and then trying to cut into the right lane because the jackaninnies are MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYONE ELSE.

Instead of observing the construction workers, I would like to see the police officers ARREST THE JACKANINNIES and put them in Bad Driver Jail, which will teach them a Thing.

Or, the police officers could just direct the traffic.

LHRD

Love Hate Relationship Disorder
http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryankincaid/first-world-problems-people-had-at-whole-foods#1v9cw1h

Just stop already

Over at the Bloggess, Jenny Lawson is getting the same panicked e-mail messages as I am.  Messages from the Democratic National Committee and the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and EMILY's List and ActBlue and Organizing for America (which used to be Obama for America, but now that Barry's in his second term, I guess that he has already established himself for America.)  The messages are sent from Very Important People.  The people who send the e-mail messages vary: if I don't respond to Bill Clinton (and who wouldn't respond to Bill?), I get a message from Debbie Wasserman Schultz.  If I ignore Debbie, Deval Patrick, the Governor of Massachusetts, sends me a message.  If I don't write back to Deval, I get a message from Elizabeth Warren, who seems to have become Everyone's Favorite Democrat.  And then there are the messages from Michelle Obama!  Michelle.  Obama.  Whoa.

What do Bill, Debbie, Deval, and Elizabeth want?  Money.  They want me to give money.  And if I don't give the money to the DNC or the DCCC or ActBlue or EMILY's List, it is MY fault, and mine alone, that Democrats will not hold the Senate in November and the Republicans will retain control of the house.

That's quite a burden.  And so I look at my checking account and it still says that there is enough money to pay for groceries and the mortgage and that we are still contributing monthly to Jack's and Finn's college savings accounts and that, after all of that is done, there isn't much left.

A few of the messages stated that if I gave money, I would be entered in a contest to see President Obama in LA.  There was one that incentivized with a trip to Washington DC to have dinner with Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and Barry and Michelle.

Wait a minute: if I give money, say $20, the D-organization is going to spend $1000 or more to fly me somewhere?  How about I just don't give any money and you guys keep the $1K in the bank, which will net you $980?

Another message, from ActBlue, used this logic:
The GOP is on the ropes!  They can't raise anymore money!  We are raising more money than they are!  So you should give more money NOW!

Um, OK.  Have these people not heard of Compassion Fatigue?  Or The Boy Who Cried 'Wolf'? Or The Woman Who Unsubscribed from All Organizations Because She Couldn't Stand Looking at Her Inbox?

This is, of course, happening to my friends on the right, too.  I know that they are getting letters from Marco Rubio and Jeb Bush and Barbara Bush and George Bush and Bobby Jindal and Scott Brown and maybe even from the Crazy Sisters, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman.

The panicked pandering is happening on the state level, too.  Martha Coakley never hesitates to remind me that she is a woman and that, because we both have lady parts, she knows what is best for me and Charlie Baker cannot know.  I am sure that if Charlie Baker had my e-mail address, he would send me a message that began 'Dear Sweetheart.'

Maybe, just maybe, what Bill, Debbie, Hillary, Elizabeth, Deval, Martha, Joe, Hillary, Jeb, Barbara, George, Michelle, Joe, and Marco should consider investing in is a way to do this whole election thing without it having to cost a gazillion dollars.  Maybe that would help elected officials actually do the job they were elected to do instead of needing to raise money for the next race as soon as they win.  Maybe it would get all of the special interest groups out of it and make people get information on candidates someplace other than from attack ads on the teevee.

For now, for me, it's all about the 'delete' button.

Zackly

Thank you, reader Jill, for this. Perfect! A flowchart!

What Not to Wear

Yesterday, I attended a conference for health care professionals as an exhibitor.  I wore a navy pinstripe sheath that I got at Nordstrom 2 years ago,  my favorite navy, 3-button jacket from Pink Tartan that is flecked with silver metallic thread, and a pair of tan (I hate the word 'nude', because I am not the color of these shoes when I am nude and I don't think anyone else is, either) slingbacks from Cydwoq because they are so very comfortable and I was going to be standing for most of the day.

I attend these conferences about six times each year, and at every conference, I am always appalled at what the attendees are wearing.  I don't expect health care professionals, for whom this is a day off, to show up in a suit, however, do they have to show up in clothes that they could have (and may have) worn to the gym?

The misappropriation of workout clothes for things other than actually working out drives me batty.  I'm not necessarily talking about the ubiquitous black stretch pants (I'll get there in a minute); rather, I mean nylon shirts emblazoned with Nike swooshes or Puma pumas or the UnderArmour logo.  I am talking about sweatpants.  I am talking about running shoes when there is no running taking place (and, from the looks of it, there hasn't been in some time.)  It is a look that is sloppy and unprofessional and says, "I care so little for how I look and how I am perceived that I will just wear these gym clothes.  I have no respect for myself or my profession."  And it is EVERYWHERE.  Is it really that hard to put on a pair of nice jeans in a  dark wash (one idea ), or a pair of flat front khakis (these work) and a sweater?  And, for footwear, if one must wear sneakers, why not some nice vintage tennies or even a slip-on pair of Vans?

While some women do show up wearing the gym attire shown above, it's relatively rare.  The Fashion Don't committed by womenfolk again and again is confusing leggings with pants.  Leggings are meant to be worn under a tunic, or a dress, or a long cardigan.  Pants have structure, and seaming, and zippers, and pockets.  If the subtle topography of your butt is apparent through the fabric, then you cannot wear them out of the house.  One possible exception may be a pair of well made, black, bootleg (not tight around the calf and ankle) stretch pants, like those sometimes worn for yoga.  Well-made, black, bootleg stretch pants (like these ) can be combined with a nice jacket or sweater and nice shoes or ankle boots and can pass, especially for a long plane or car ride.  Otherwise, get a skirt, or a pair of actual pants and some actual shoes and wear them.

Of course, there is the other side of the coin, which is "trying too hard".  I have seen women wearing stiletto heels at 7AM and I have seen these same women lurching through the buffet lunch with less grace than a stilt-walker.  Inappropriate dressing is as wrong as underdressing, so save the Carine Roitfeld heels for your trip to New York Fashion Week.

The final sin is that of wearing clothing that does not fit.  If there is clothing in your closet that does not fit, you should get rid of it.  Immediately.  Because the next time there is a reason to wear something presentable, whether it's a professional conference or a funeral, you need something reliable that fits you now.  Not the thing that fit you 8 years ago.  If you have worked hard to lose weight and have been successful, it is not okay to just pull the belt tighter.  And if you haven't been successful in losing weight, even Spanx aren't going to help you.

When I worked in hospitals, I wore scrubs to work every night.  Light blue scrubs, usually with a long sleeved tee-shirt underneath because I was always cold.  I understand that dressing like that becomes habit -- if you're a pre-school teacher who wears yoga pants and oversized sweaters everyday, it's hard to make the switch to a different style of dressing.  Give a thought as to how you want to be seen and perceived and dress for where you are going and what you're doing.  Dress respectfully.

If I had my way, we would all be forced back into the early 1960's, before the Summer of Love, when everyone wore a hat, and women wore gloves, and people dressed up to go on airplanes and addressed each other as Mister and Miss.  Of course, we would go there only sartorially, without repression, and with civil rights.  And we would look much better once we got there.