Over at the Bloggess, Jenny Lawson is getting the same panicked e-mail messages as I am. Messages from the Democratic National Committee and the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and EMILY's List and ActBlue and Organizing for America (which used to be Obama for America, but now that Barry's in his second term, I guess that he has already established himself for America.) The messages are sent from Very Important People. The people who send the e-mail messages vary: if I don't respond to Bill Clinton (and who wouldn't respond to Bill?), I get a message from Debbie Wasserman Schultz. If I ignore Debbie, Deval Patrick, the Governor of Massachusetts, sends me a message. If I don't write back to Deval, I get a message from Elizabeth Warren, who seems to have become Everyone's Favorite Democrat. And then there are the messages from Michelle Obama! Michelle. Obama. Whoa.
What do Bill, Debbie, Deval, and Elizabeth want? Money. They want me to give money. And if I don't give the money to the DNC or the DCCC or ActBlue or EMILY's List, it is MY fault, and mine alone, that Democrats will not hold the Senate in November and the Republicans will retain control of the house.
That's quite a burden. And so I look at my checking account and it still says that there is enough money to pay for groceries and the mortgage and that we are still contributing monthly to Jack's and Finn's college savings accounts and that, after all of that is done, there isn't much left.
A few of the messages stated that if I gave money, I would be entered in a contest to see President Obama in LA. There was one that incentivized with a trip to Washington DC to have dinner with Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and Barry and Michelle.
Wait a minute: if I give money, say $20, the D-organization is going to spend $1000 or more to fly me somewhere? How about I just don't give any money and you guys keep the $1K in the bank, which will net you $980?
Another message, from ActBlue, used this logic:
The GOP is on the ropes! They can't raise anymore money! We are raising more money than they are! So you should give more money NOW!
Um, OK. Have these people not heard of Compassion Fatigue? Or The Boy Who Cried 'Wolf'? Or The Woman Who Unsubscribed from All Organizations Because She Couldn't Stand Looking at Her Inbox?
This is, of course, happening to my friends on the right, too. I know that they are getting letters from Marco Rubio and Jeb Bush and Barbara Bush and George Bush and Bobby Jindal and Scott Brown and maybe even from the Crazy Sisters, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman.
The panicked pandering is happening on the state level, too. Martha Coakley never hesitates to remind me that she is a woman and that, because we both have lady parts, she knows what is best for me and Charlie Baker cannot know. I am sure that if Charlie Baker had my e-mail address, he would send me a message that began 'Dear Sweetheart.'
Maybe, just maybe, what Bill, Debbie, Hillary, Elizabeth, Deval, Martha, Joe, Hillary, Jeb, Barbara, George, Michelle, Joe, and Marco should consider investing in is a way to do this whole election thing without it having to cost a gazillion dollars. Maybe that would help elected officials actually do the job they were elected to do instead of needing to raise money for the next race as soon as they win. Maybe it would get all of the special interest groups out of it and make people get information on candidates someplace other than from attack ads on the teevee.
For now, for me, it's all about the 'delete' button.
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