What Not to Wear

Yesterday, I attended a conference for health care professionals as an exhibitor.  I wore a navy pinstripe sheath that I got at Nordstrom 2 years ago,  my favorite navy, 3-button jacket from Pink Tartan that is flecked with silver metallic thread, and a pair of tan (I hate the word 'nude', because I am not the color of these shoes when I am nude and I don't think anyone else is, either) slingbacks from Cydwoq because they are so very comfortable and I was going to be standing for most of the day.

I attend these conferences about six times each year, and at every conference, I am always appalled at what the attendees are wearing.  I don't expect health care professionals, for whom this is a day off, to show up in a suit, however, do they have to show up in clothes that they could have (and may have) worn to the gym?

The misappropriation of workout clothes for things other than actually working out drives me batty.  I'm not necessarily talking about the ubiquitous black stretch pants (I'll get there in a minute); rather, I mean nylon shirts emblazoned with Nike swooshes or Puma pumas or the UnderArmour logo.  I am talking about sweatpants.  I am talking about running shoes when there is no running taking place (and, from the looks of it, there hasn't been in some time.)  It is a look that is sloppy and unprofessional and says, "I care so little for how I look and how I am perceived that I will just wear these gym clothes.  I have no respect for myself or my profession."  And it is EVERYWHERE.  Is it really that hard to put on a pair of nice jeans in a  dark wash (one idea ), or a pair of flat front khakis (these work) and a sweater?  And, for footwear, if one must wear sneakers, why not some nice vintage tennies or even a slip-on pair of Vans?

While some women do show up wearing the gym attire shown above, it's relatively rare.  The Fashion Don't committed by womenfolk again and again is confusing leggings with pants.  Leggings are meant to be worn under a tunic, or a dress, or a long cardigan.  Pants have structure, and seaming, and zippers, and pockets.  If the subtle topography of your butt is apparent through the fabric, then you cannot wear them out of the house.  One possible exception may be a pair of well made, black, bootleg (not tight around the calf and ankle) stretch pants, like those sometimes worn for yoga.  Well-made, black, bootleg stretch pants (like these ) can be combined with a nice jacket or sweater and nice shoes or ankle boots and can pass, especially for a long plane or car ride.  Otherwise, get a skirt, or a pair of actual pants and some actual shoes and wear them.

Of course, there is the other side of the coin, which is "trying too hard".  I have seen women wearing stiletto heels at 7AM and I have seen these same women lurching through the buffet lunch with less grace than a stilt-walker.  Inappropriate dressing is as wrong as underdressing, so save the Carine Roitfeld heels for your trip to New York Fashion Week.

The final sin is that of wearing clothing that does not fit.  If there is clothing in your closet that does not fit, you should get rid of it.  Immediately.  Because the next time there is a reason to wear something presentable, whether it's a professional conference or a funeral, you need something reliable that fits you now.  Not the thing that fit you 8 years ago.  If you have worked hard to lose weight and have been successful, it is not okay to just pull the belt tighter.  And if you haven't been successful in losing weight, even Spanx aren't going to help you.

When I worked in hospitals, I wore scrubs to work every night.  Light blue scrubs, usually with a long sleeved tee-shirt underneath because I was always cold.  I understand that dressing like that becomes habit -- if you're a pre-school teacher who wears yoga pants and oversized sweaters everyday, it's hard to make the switch to a different style of dressing.  Give a thought as to how you want to be seen and perceived and dress for where you are going and what you're doing.  Dress respectfully.

If I had my way, we would all be forced back into the early 1960's, before the Summer of Love, when everyone wore a hat, and women wore gloves, and people dressed up to go on airplanes and addressed each other as Mister and Miss.  Of course, we would go there only sartorially, without repression, and with civil rights.  And we would look much better once we got there.